8 Mile...7 Mile Run

All last week I fought back pain. I talked about it in my Friday post and had been dreading my 8 mile run for Saturday. Not for my normal reasons of having to run 8 miles, but because I was scared my back would go crazy and leave me crying on the side of the road cursing myself for trying to run {I'll end your curiosity now...I didn't end up crying on the side of the road cursing myself}.

I went out  a bit later than I wanted. I had hoped to get out about 9:00 - 9:30 a.m., but I didn't actually get out until 10:15 a.m. Eh. It was cold no matter when I was going to go out, so really what did it matter?

What fun running temps! LOL! I'll be honest, I kinda feel like a badass going out in temperatures like this. I had so many layers on though {wear all the clothes!} - two pairs of pants, knee high socks, a cami, short sleeve shirt, long sleeve cold weather shirt, two jackets, a hat, gloves, and over the ears headphones that cover the entire ear. Running in the winter is my favorite time to run. I much prefer running when it's cold because it keeps me from getting too overheated.

I started out with my fingers in so much pain. It wasn't until I was 1.5 miles in that my fingers felt normal. I ran slow. But, because of the back issues I decided to just go slow and see what happens. I ran in the boring neighborhood that I hate having to run long distances in, but it's only a mile from my car at the furthest if my back kicked in.

Happily I felt good for almost the entire run. I was slower than I would have liked. Not 100% sure if it was due to being careful about my back, all the ice/snow that people hadn't cleared from their sidewalks I had to walk through, or I'm just this slow. I'm hoping it's 1 & 2.

I had some technology issues at mile 4 that I had to stop to fix. Stupid technology. Then off to finish my 8 mile run. Until about 6.75 miles in. I started to have left leg pain as I ran, which turned into a limping run. Since the pain was on the same side as the back pain, I got to mile 7 and called it a run. I am sure I could have gutted out another mile, but I didn't want to make whatever the injury was worse. So, I walked at least a quarter mile back to my car in temperatures that are not conducive to walking. LOL!

So, I finished my shortened run. Not happy with the time, but at least in less pain overall than I thought. I didn't think I'd get two miles in, so seven was pretty nice.

Did you get out this weekend? What it a cold run?



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My 40 pound challenge

My dad and I in April 1980. Wasn't I adorable?

I've been giving a lot of thought the past week or two about my diet. I have been eating atrociously and honestly, I'm not happy with what I look like. My pants are tight. My shirts don't look right. With the summer coming on quickly, I don't know how many of my capris are going to fit. This does not make me happy.

Last week, I was thinking about this. I was trying to find the motivation to get my butt in gear and start to eat healthy. What will finally move me to do what I know how to do and what I know I should do? And then I thought of my dad randomly. It happens frequently, something will trigger a memory and I think of him. And that's when I knew. I knew what would move me from the "I want to" stage to the "I WILL" stage. I want to make my dad proud. Sure, he's been gone for almost 25 years (this will come into play shortly), but you know what? I believe he's still here. Not physically, but I believe his spirit is still here looking out for me when it's important.

So I decided I am going to lose the 40 pounds I need to lose to make my dad proud. It will be 25 years since he passed away this coming Nov. 11th (5 months from today) and my goal is to lose those 40 pounds (or pretty close to it) by then. It's a pretty aggressive goal for me (2 pounds a week), but it's doable.

See, I've always been overweight. I think I was normal sized until I was about 3, from there on out photos are of a chubby little girl. I was told multiple times by my pediatrician that I would grow out of it as I grew. I would get taller and would thin out. That never happened. I am a statuesque 5'4 3/4" tall. Not too many places for that extra fat to go on such a short frame.

In that time frame, I learned unhealthy habits. Fruits and vegetables weren't top priority, nor was healthy eating. Until my dad died, we did have homemade meals. Dad was a cook in the Coast Guard, so he made some yummy food...but it wasn't healthy. Neither of my parents ate healthy, so my snacks weren't healthy either. And sadly, since my dad was very sick and spent a good amount of time in the hospital so many meals were on the run.

So, I want to get healthy NOW for all the years I wasn't and to make my dad proud. He loved me unconditionally, but I know he wished I was healthy. I want to honor his memory by finally getting healthy and being healthy by the time the November 11th anniversary comes. 

I ask now for as much support as you can possibly give. I can't do this on my own. Having my friends behind me will keep my motivation up when I struggle because I know I will.


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A Quote I Need to Remember

It's not who you are that holds you back,

it's who you think you're not.

~ Unknown

I saw this quote a few weeks ago and it resonated with me big time.  I have spent years wanting to lose weight and be thin, but constantly sabotaging my efforts time after time.  I did it yesterday.  Ugh.   I say I want to lose weight, I say I'm going to finally do it this time, I say I'm going to exercise, I say I'm going to eat right, I say I'm not going to let anything stop me.  And then I do.  A bad day at work.  Eating out with friends.  Weather looks overcast.  Any number of things stop me from doing what I say I'm going to.

This quote made me realize it's not just who I am, it's that I don't think of myself as the thin, active person I keep saying I want to be.  I think of myself as the person who is 75 pounds overweight who walked out of college in 1998.  I don't think of myself as active, even though I run, bike, take fencing lessons, and work with a trainer.  It's really a mindset and I have the wrong one.

This is how I want to see myself in the end.

Yea, I know it's a trick of the glass, but this is what I want to look like when I hit my goal weight.  that's hubby next to me.  :-)

So, what I need to start doing is thinking like the person I want to be and not the person I have been.  It's going to take some time, but I think a new mindset is what I need. I need think react to stimuli the way I would when I am at my goal weight, not respond to stimuli the way I do now.  This is going to be a major mental hurdle and I don't think I'm going to get it right straight away, but I think it will get me to my goal.  The more you practice something, the better you get.  Here's to keeping my goal forefront in mind.