Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Just Not a Good Day

Today was a rough day. I spent the whole day reading about and attending a webinar about the downturn in the economy and how there are a lot of lay-offs happening. I work in non-profit fundraising and that totally effects what I do. But, the issue that hit me hard today was the fact that in just 5 months I'm going to be one of those people being laid off. Since this was basically the topic of my whole day that it really hurt. No one in my office really knows that at the end of the year I'm being let go, so it's really hard to discuss this topic and not acknowledge that it's hitting closer than they think.

And, my boss continues to praise me and my work. I wish she would stop. That may sound strange, but it's really hard to hear how great my work is knowing that it means nothing. A good review does nothing for me except get me a good recommendation when searching for a new job. Sadly, I have a great work ethic which means I have to do my job 100%, even knowing that it means nothing. So, I do a great job and still get laid off.

So, today was really depressing for me. I literally cried on the way home. I met my hubby at the car dealership to drop off my car for an oil change, and I just cried on the way home. This is really hurting me. I know I didn't do anything to cause this, but it still cuts me to the quick. It's a raw nerve that will be exposed for five more months. How does one handle a raw nerve that LONG?
Well, now onto the purpose of this blog. Sorry for the rant or whatever you call the above. Today may have been an ok day or not. I think I was within points. I had my normal breakfast and lunch, then went to the webinar. I splurged on a cookie, which was FANTASTIC! So, it was worth it. LOL! But, after I got back to my office, I got really depressed over the job situation. And it made me nausous. Seriously. I felt sick.

So, this doesn't bode well when it comes to dinner. I didn't really eat dinner tonight. I came home and really didn't want anything. Which is strange, since I usually want food when I'm depressed. So, I didn't eat anything until 9:00 p.m. At that point, I had humus and pita chips. I had 9 points left at that point, but I paid no mind to how many chips I ate. So, I'm going to guess that I'm right about points today.

And I suppose the worse part of this was the lack of excerise. It snowed overnight, so the sidewalks were not in good condition to walk at lunch. Which I expected. I knew they were expecting about an inch of snow today. So, during the day (early) I figured I would just use the treadmill at home and do the Wii like usual. But then the afternoon hit. And I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So, no walking and no Wii today. Hopefully tomorrow. The weather is supposed to be bad tomorrow too, so not sure if the walking will be outside or on the treadmill.

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