Thursday, January 28, 2010

Promises

It's been two weeks since I weighed in.  I didn't go last week because I knew I had gained and I didn't want to hear it.  I just couldn't get my head around eating well.  I don't know why.  I did great the week before, but for some reason, last week was a stumbling week.  It was frustrating too because I knew what I was doing, but I did it anyway. 

One theory is I once weighed what I do now and I was thrilled to be here.  I felt good about myself.  I thought my clothes looked good.  I was thrilled I got to this point.  Then we moved and I gained it all back.  When I started back with WW in December 2008, right before the holidays, my goal was to get back to where I was right before we moved...which is where I am now.  I still have about 25 pounds to go to my ultimate goal, but I wonder how much of my "motivation" to get there is tied up in my reaching what I thought was the unreachable goal, of getting back to my May 2004 weight?  Maybe this is psychological.  Maybe my brain can't comprehend loosing more.  Maybe this is where the brain thinks I'll be happy and so it's trying to tell me to stop.  Be happy here.  Enjoy being here.  Revel in being where you thought you'd never get back to.

Well, brain, I appreciate the love.  I really do.  I appreciate you wanting me to stop and recognize the place I am right now.  Cause really, how many times does the brain allow you to do that?  More often than not, you get somewhere/meet a goal and the brain is off onto the next thing.  So, thank you brain.  It's great you want me to savor where I am.  BUT, I want to keep moving.  I want to loose those last 25 pounds.  I have enjoyed my time where I am and want to move on.

So, in order to do that, I am going to WW tomorrow to weigh-in.  I promised my friend I would.  And she's outing me on her blog for NOT going last week.  Thanks friend!  ;-)  But, I am going, no matter what the scale says.  I'll be back tomorrow with the results.  I may be down, I may be up, but I will at least know and knowing is half the battle.

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