My 40 pound challenge

My dad and I in April 1980. Wasn't I adorable?

I've been giving a lot of thought the past week or two about my diet. I have been eating atrociously and honestly, I'm not happy with what I look like. My pants are tight. My shirts don't look right. With the summer coming on quickly, I don't know how many of my capris are going to fit. This does not make me happy.

Last week, I was thinking about this. I was trying to find the motivation to get my butt in gear and start to eat healthy. What will finally move me to do what I know how to do and what I know I should do? And then I thought of my dad randomly. It happens frequently, something will trigger a memory and I think of him. And that's when I knew. I knew what would move me from the "I want to" stage to the "I WILL" stage. I want to make my dad proud. Sure, he's been gone for almost 25 years (this will come into play shortly), but you know what? I believe he's still here. Not physically, but I believe his spirit is still here looking out for me when it's important.

So I decided I am going to lose the 40 pounds I need to lose to make my dad proud. It will be 25 years since he passed away this coming Nov. 11th (5 months from today) and my goal is to lose those 40 pounds (or pretty close to it) by then. It's a pretty aggressive goal for me (2 pounds a week), but it's doable.

See, I've always been overweight. I think I was normal sized until I was about 3, from there on out photos are of a chubby little girl. I was told multiple times by my pediatrician that I would grow out of it as I grew. I would get taller and would thin out. That never happened. I am a statuesque 5'4 3/4" tall. Not too many places for that extra fat to go on such a short frame.

In that time frame, I learned unhealthy habits. Fruits and vegetables weren't top priority, nor was healthy eating. Until my dad died, we did have homemade meals. Dad was a cook in the Coast Guard, so he made some yummy food...but it wasn't healthy. Neither of my parents ate healthy, so my snacks weren't healthy either. And sadly, since my dad was very sick and spent a good amount of time in the hospital so many meals were on the run.

So, I want to get healthy NOW for all the years I wasn't and to make my dad proud. He loved me unconditionally, but I know he wished I was healthy. I want to honor his memory by finally getting healthy and being healthy by the time the November 11th anniversary comes. 

I ask now for as much support as you can possibly give. I can't do this on my own. Having my friends behind me will keep my motivation up when I struggle because I know I will.


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Health and Running

I've been thinking a lot lately about weight and being healthy.  This comes because over the weekend the hubby took a photo of my at the York Fair with my pumpkin funnel cake.  I love funnel cake.  It's one of my favorite foods, but I limit myself to one a year.  It's not all that healthy, in case you didn't know.  ;-)  This year I skipped my baseball funnel cake in lieu of having one at the Fair, since it was made of pumpkin and covered in icing.  To.Die.For.

The issue with the weekend's funnel cake was that it happened during a day of complete abandonment.  I ate crap all day.  Soft pretzel at the York Revolution, a slice of pizza and pumpkin funnel cake at the Fair, and chips and salsa at home.  Just crap food all day.  Not at all one should be eating when they are trying to lose weight and make better food choices.

Then on Wednesday we attended the first York Revolution play-off game.  We ate dinner before going to the game (not only to control calories, but costs.).  We took our season ticket holder cups with us and asked for diet soda when we got to the counter.  The girl looked at us and said you don't need to be drinking diet soda.  I thought that an odd comment.  I said hubby sure didn't, but I do.  She looked at me and said I didn't either.  Which made me start thinking a bit about how I am really seem by others versus how I see myself.  And apparently, I see myself in a totally different light than the camera (see above) or nice concession stand people serving me soda.

So, I went to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) to see if they have official weight ranges.  I wanted to see where I stood in relationship for where I should be based on height.  In order to do so, I had to enter my height and weight for them to calculate my BMI (body mass index).  When I entered it, it stated I am overweight, which I knew.  But, it listed the weight range I should be in to be healthy. When I saw what it was, I was shocked that I am only 14 pounds above where I should be.  How could that be?  14 pounds isn't that much.  It's almost to the point of being 10 pounds overweight.  That amount that every woman in the known universe states she is.  "Oh you look fabulous!"  "Really?  I need to lose 10 pounds."  It's crazy to me to think that I am this close to being "normal."  I've been stressing out how much I weight, how overweight I am, how I'll never lose that amount of weight.  But, what I'm realizing is that to be healthy and to be normal, it's 14 pounds.  Sure, I can go below that and still be healthy, but I'm not really that far away from the healthy mark.  I'm much closer than I ever thought I would be.  It's a light bulb moment.  It's a moment of it's possible.  It's not some distant dream, but a realistic reality.  I could even reach it by Thanksgiving.  Whoa.  Crazy!

And the running?  Well, I have a 9.5 mile run tomorrow. My longest run since February and the Half Marathon.  Scary stuff that.  Especially since it's been raining like crazy here lately.  Rained off and on today.  And if I'm reading Weather.com correctly, 60% chance of rain come the a.m.  Ugh.  I was going to run at the Rail Trail, but I'm thinking with all the dirt and gravel it might not be the best surface.  So, I'm thinking either around here (boring) or maybe in Harrisburg.  It might be raining, but neither location is a dirt path. 

I really am nervous about this 9.5 miles.  The Rail Trail would have allowed me to break up the run into four 2.5 mile segments.  It made it seem easier to think of that way.  But, without the Rail Trail, I'm kinda dreading this run.  I know I can do a 5 mile out and back course, it's just finding a place that let's me do that.  My normal run area is not an out and back, it's lots of streets and turns.  Going to Harrisburg lets me run on Front Street and possibly City Island, which at least would be different.  I just have to get through this run.  After hurting my hamstring two weeks ago and turning an 8 mile run into a 6.5 mile run, I need the confidence of running this 9.5 miles.  Wish me luck!  I need all of it I can get!