My 40 pound challenge

My dad and I in April 1980. Wasn't I adorable?

I've been giving a lot of thought the past week or two about my diet. I have been eating atrociously and honestly, I'm not happy with what I look like. My pants are tight. My shirts don't look right. With the summer coming on quickly, I don't know how many of my capris are going to fit. This does not make me happy.

Last week, I was thinking about this. I was trying to find the motivation to get my butt in gear and start to eat healthy. What will finally move me to do what I know how to do and what I know I should do? And then I thought of my dad randomly. It happens frequently, something will trigger a memory and I think of him. And that's when I knew. I knew what would move me from the "I want to" stage to the "I WILL" stage. I want to make my dad proud. Sure, he's been gone for almost 25 years (this will come into play shortly), but you know what? I believe he's still here. Not physically, but I believe his spirit is still here looking out for me when it's important.

So I decided I am going to lose the 40 pounds I need to lose to make my dad proud. It will be 25 years since he passed away this coming Nov. 11th (5 months from today) and my goal is to lose those 40 pounds (or pretty close to it) by then. It's a pretty aggressive goal for me (2 pounds a week), but it's doable.

See, I've always been overweight. I think I was normal sized until I was about 3, from there on out photos are of a chubby little girl. I was told multiple times by my pediatrician that I would grow out of it as I grew. I would get taller and would thin out. That never happened. I am a statuesque 5'4 3/4" tall. Not too many places for that extra fat to go on such a short frame.

In that time frame, I learned unhealthy habits. Fruits and vegetables weren't top priority, nor was healthy eating. Until my dad died, we did have homemade meals. Dad was a cook in the Coast Guard, so he made some yummy food...but it wasn't healthy. Neither of my parents ate healthy, so my snacks weren't healthy either. And sadly, since my dad was very sick and spent a good amount of time in the hospital so many meals were on the run.

So, I want to get healthy NOW for all the years I wasn't and to make my dad proud. He loved me unconditionally, but I know he wished I was healthy. I want to honor his memory by finally getting healthy and being healthy by the time the November 11th anniversary comes. 

I ask now for as much support as you can possibly give. I can't do this on my own. Having my friends behind me will keep my motivation up when I struggle because I know I will.


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A Quote I Need to Remember

It's not who you are that holds you back,

it's who you think you're not.

~ Unknown

I saw this quote a few weeks ago and it resonated with me big time.  I have spent years wanting to lose weight and be thin, but constantly sabotaging my efforts time after time.  I did it yesterday.  Ugh.   I say I want to lose weight, I say I'm going to finally do it this time, I say I'm going to exercise, I say I'm going to eat right, I say I'm not going to let anything stop me.  And then I do.  A bad day at work.  Eating out with friends.  Weather looks overcast.  Any number of things stop me from doing what I say I'm going to.

This quote made me realize it's not just who I am, it's that I don't think of myself as the thin, active person I keep saying I want to be.  I think of myself as the person who is 75 pounds overweight who walked out of college in 1998.  I don't think of myself as active, even though I run, bike, take fencing lessons, and work with a trainer.  It's really a mindset and I have the wrong one.

This is how I want to see myself in the end.

Yea, I know it's a trick of the glass, but this is what I want to look like when I hit my goal weight.  that's hubby next to me.  :-)

So, what I need to start doing is thinking like the person I want to be and not the person I have been.  It's going to take some time, but I think a new mindset is what I need. I need think react to stimuli the way I would when I am at my goal weight, not respond to stimuli the way I do now.  This is going to be a major mental hurdle and I don't think I'm going to get it right straight away, but I think it will get me to my goal.  The more you practice something, the better you get.  Here's to keeping my goal forefront in mind.

 

About a year ago...

Last year this week I made a decision to lose weight.  I had high hopes of reaching my goal weight by the end of the year, but it was not to be.  But, I made a big dent in my weight battle and I'm happy with that.  I lost 23.2 pounds in the last year. 

In the past year I got back into doing Weight Watchers consistently (on my own), which helped me cut back on what I ate.  To be honest, that's my big issue.  I need to get more consistent on this front, but it's getting there.

And in the past year, my exercise regime has gotten much better:

• I tried a duathlon.  Didn't work out how I hoped, but I stretched my comfort level and tried.
• Ran my second (Philadelphia Half Marathon) and my third (Shamrock Half Marathon) half marathons.
• Joined the YMCA and went consistently (about 3 times a week).
• Hired a trainer.
• Started attending the Cardio Kickboxing classes
• PRed at the Philadelphia Half Marathon, Celtic Solstice 5 Miler, St. Patrick's Day 5k, Shamrock 8k, Shamrock Half Marathon, Hershey 10k, and the Sole of the City 10k.
• Just started attending fencing classes.

This year, my goal is to reach my goal weight.  It is to learn (and be good at) fencing.  It is to PR my next half marathon (that's going to tough! I reached my fall half marathon goal at Shamrock.). 

While I may not have reached my weight goal last year, I'm happy that I have something to keep aiming for this year.  I am confident I can do it this year.  It's just another 13 pounds to reach my initial goal weight, then we re-evaluate.  Maybe another 10, but maybe not.  We shall see.  Stay tuned!  When I reach that milestone it will be shared!

New Year's Resolutions - Lose 20 pounds

Well, it's been a few days since I posted my initial thoughts on New Year's resolutions and while I'm not completely set, this resolution is set.  I had a good 2011 with a 20 pound loss.  I had hoped to reach my ultimate weight goal by the end of the year, but it was not to be.  But this year?  Yup.  It's meant to be.

My goal is to lose the last 20 pounds.  I'll be honest, I would love to lose 30, but I really want to reach 20 pounds this year.  When I lose these 20 pounds, I will re-assess.  I may hit my 20 pound goal and be completely happy with it and not care about those other 10 pounds.  If so, fabulous!  But, if at that re-assessment I think another 5-10 pounds would be good, then I'm going for it. 

I have confidence that I can reach my 20 pound goal this year being I lost 20 last year.  Sure, I could have focused more and lost more, but it is what it is and I'm happy with those 20 pounds.  No sense in spending time regretting what I didn't do.  I'm going to focus on being happy with losing those 20 and building on that.  20 pounds in a year is totally doable.  No reason I can't reach my goal weight this year. 

I'm still working out how I'm going to do it, but here are my tentative thoughts:

1. Continue using Weight Watchers Points program (not PointsPlus).  I've had good success with this and see no reason to try something new.  Go with what works.  I've lost a total of 55 pounds since 1999 almost all of it with WW.  Why change?

2. Run.  That seems obvious if you've been following along for any length of time, but sometimes I get in a funk and don't run for weeks.  I need to focus on continuing my running routine even when I don't feel like doing it.  Last year I had two months where I ran a total of 5 miles the whole month.  Uhhh...yea.  Gotta work on that.

3. Gym membership?  Considering joining the YMCA.  I have always said you do not need a gym membership to lose weight.  You can do it with what you have at home or what you can do on your own.  And I stand by that.  But, I'm having some motivational issues and thinking a Y membership might help me get moving.  There are some good classes being offered, they have a pool, and more cardio equipment than I have access to at home.  And the one thing that I think would help is the Y is a 5 minute walk from work.  There would be no excuse for not doing my weekday runs.  Still debating this.  Though I may be leaning more towards it than away.

4. Water. I really need to up my water in-take.  When I started at the Archives I was unable to keep a water bottle at my desk.  I think I can now, so I need to up the water intake this year.  Sadly, it doesn't help keep me full (like people always say it does), but I if I'm going to focus on my running and a possible gym membership I need to say hydrated.

As the year goes on, I'm sure I'll find new ways to help myself reach my 20 pound goal, but for now those are my action items.  It's possible I could reach my goal by summer.  What a great way to greet the season of shorts and tank tops!