Sadly, I'm not the only one

Yesterday's Motivational Monday post was all about negative self-talk and how I can be very supportive of others, but have a tough time being that way with me.

Today, I saw two separate posts from bloggers I follow and admire share their struggle with negative self-image/talk. Lauren at Breathe Deeply and Smile broke down her weekend and how her mind immediately went to the negative when things didn't go as well as she planned. I like that she was able to see what she should have thought based on a look at the facts.

Ann at Ann's Running Commentary talked about how she sees herself as fat even when the photographic evidence proves otherwise. That no matter what her size, no matter what people say she sees herself as fat. This woman has run a marathon and an Ironman! She fell on a trail race multiple times, sprained her ankle, ripped up her knees, and a dislocated finger.

I hate that women that I consider strong, talented, and inspirational go through negative self-talk. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we allow society to determine our worth rather basing it on our accomplishments and abilities?

Lately, I've been thinking of the card my Grandparents gave me when I graduated college. A little back ground for the newer readers, my father passed away when I was 13 in 1988 and I graduated college in 1998. In essence the card said they were so proud of me for graduating college and overcoming losing my father. It struck me as odd because I never thought I was overcoming anything. I just lived my life, doing what I thought was best albeit without my dad, who I wished with all my heart had been there.

It's strange how others see our accomplishments versus how we see them. I share that story because it's the one time in my life where I did what I knew I was capable of but others saw it as outstanding. I've been thinking about this because I have been doubting my abilities, my goals, my place in life. Maybe I need to go back to just thinking it's the way my life is rather than something I'm striving for.

Go check out Lauren and Ann's posts. They are worth the visit.
Follow @NeverTrade2013

Motivational Monday

This is me. 100% me. I am so hard on myself it's not funny. I don't necessarily consider myself Type A or a perfectionist (though I know others who disagree with me), but I know I have a very negative inner voice.

I am very supportive of my friends. I totally believe in my friend's ability to conquer any goal they set for themselves. With so many of my friends spread around the country (world), this usually means texts, Facebook likes/comments, blog comments, cards, emails, etc. If a friend sets a goal, I'm all over helping them stop the negative talk and bolstering up their confidence to achieve it.

Oddly enough (or maybe not so odd), I am the complete opposite when it comes to me and my goals. I set them, then become my own worst bully. "You can't do that." "You're too fat to look good." "You're too slow to run that race." "Your friends don't really like you, you're just convenient." "You're not as smart as you think you are." Yea. These are all thoughts that have gone through my head.

I have a hard time reconciling the person I am for my friends and the person I am for myself. I need to work on being the same person to me as I am for them. I don't think I keep myself to a higher standard than I do my friends. I honestly believe that my friends can achieve anything they set their minds to. They are a font of possibilities, but me? Not so much. I don't have whatever it is they have. I believe they are better than me.

This has to stop. I am just as capable as they are. I have the same innate abilities that allow them to reach their goals. My goals may be different, but I have the skills and knowledge to reach them. I need to stop the negative talk and start the positive. It won't be easy being it's been part of my being for 35+ years, but it's possible. I've overcome other things I didn't think I could do and believe it or not I did them - earning a Master's degree, running (yes, just running!), changing careers. Those are pretty big things. If I can do those, I can change my mental attitude, right?

Do you have a negative mental self-talk? How do you stop it and find a way to be positive?

 Follow @NeverTrade2013