Sh*t

For months I've been saying I'm going to work out, I'm going to cut back. I find new things that will ensure I do this - food journals, challenges, races. None seem to work. I've been saying the same thing over and over again for months and I'm worse off than I ever was.

Tonight, I went to the gym. I used to go 2-3 nights a week, but stopped. Wednesday is the easy day, I grab my car after work, drive about 1/2 mile, park, go in, workout. Kinda simple. So many Wednesday's I skip. I don't go. I make excuses. But tonight, I went. I changed into my workout clothes, then jumped on the scale in the women's changing area. And the number that stared back at me was horrifying (to me). I am 7 pounds away from a number I swore I would never, ever be at again. 7 pounds. How did I let that happen???

So, I made the decision to change. Sure, I've said this before, but that number freaked me out. I will not go back to where I was 13 years ago. I will go back to where I was in 2011, which was 12 pounds away from my goal weight. Even if I get no further than that, I will get there. Not by Christmas, but I will get there.

I'm saying it now and out loud. I will get back into my workout/healthy eating groove. I don't care if it is Christmas, my 12th wedding anniversary, New Year's. I will work out. I will eat healthy. I'm tired of always saying I will. Done. Over. No more. This time I mean business.

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