Sunday, October 27, 2013

Time to stop kidding myself

I had a great spring running season. I ran in some fun races, ran two half marathons, got to run with the hubby at lots of races, and got to run with friends as well at others. I ran the inaugural Yuengling Lager Jogger, I ran the Dolphin Challenge at Yuengling Marathon weekend for the second time, I ran the Baltimore Women's Classic for the 5th time marking my 5 year running anniversary. The spring was great!

Then I took my two month summer vacation from running. I do not like running in the heat, so I take a break to rest the body then. But, it was a rough off-season. We had to put my baby boy Pooka down due to a blood clot, I was sick for 5 weeks, and I blew off exercise and healthy eating completely for the summer. Then in the middle of Sept. I went to the ortho doc about the pain in my hip and am now in PT to work out what's going on.

And through all this (July on), I have let my emotions run my actions. I have been so down about it all that I stopped going to the gym consistently. I just ate whatever my heart desired. Sure, I ate some healthy stuff but lots of my food has been crap.

And it shows. My weight has ballooned over the past year and a half to the point where I'm just so angry at myself for letting myself get so out of hand. Sure a week or two happens to everyone, but I allowed that to last about 74 weeks. Ugh. It is affecting my opinion of myself and now it's interfering with my workout/running. I went out for a one mile run to prepare for next Saturday's 5k and I was breathing heavy the whole time and the second half of the mile I couldn't run any of the hills. It was awful. I felt like I was starting the running journey all over again from 5 years ago - same running ability and same weight.

What did this run teach me? I've been talking for months about eating healthy and getting back into the gym, but haven't. I say I will, then just don't. Obviously this tactic has been highly effective. So, since a large portion of my identity now revolves around being a runner, I need to start doing the things I need to do to be a good one - eating to support my runs/workout, follow through on my workout plans, and find ways to supplement both to stay flexible and strong.

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